Re: BBC, MMT, and Now TTC a Miracle!!

by KoopMomma Sun Dec 13, 2009 1:19 am

Shelly - She was feeding him his dinner and he spit out the piece she was giving him a couple of times. The last time, while his tongue was still out, she slapped his face. She immediately said, "OH GOD! I don't know why I did that!" and apologized (so maybe I'm freaking out for nothing???). As far as with me when I was a child, it took a LOT to get more than a time out for me. I was either in time out or grounded as punishment and any corporal punishment was rarely if EVER from my mother. If it were necessary, my dad would administer it. I remember watching her do full time child care and never once have I EVER seen her slap someone anywhere other than ON A DIAPER. It may be that I'm just more shocked than anything, but wow...

AFY - Let me pray on and think about your work situation. I know what the Mommy side of me wants to tell you, but I don't want to steer you in the wrong direction, KWIM?

by **denise73** Sun Dec 13, 2009 12:10 pm

Tara ~ hmmm.....sounds like she is regretting it. I would talk to her about it. I'm in the same corner as Shelley ~ if I'm there, I do the correcting. If I'm not, whoever is watching her does the correcting. I will say that I have tapped Alexa in the mouth a few times because she has deliberately bitten us. I know kids can get excited and have their mouths open and accidentally bite but this was two times when she was angry and bit. I didn't do it hard but it was enough to make her stop and think. I don't do a lot of spanking. She has to do something really bad to make me do it. She mostly gets a tap on her hands because she won't leave the direct tv box or the dvd player alone. I hope you can figure it out.

Shell ~ aww, hugs. I wish you would have called me. I would have come down to Balto and we could have done lunch or dinner and chatted about it. I can only tell you from personal experience that I am so glad I don't work anymore. I am thankful that Chris makes enough money to support us. We have cut way back on things - we hardly eat out, we grocery shop with a list, coupons, and a bonus card, we make cakes instead of buying, etc, etc. When I did go back to work those couple of weeks, I felt SO guilty. Here I was, tried to have a baby for 18 months, finally did, and I was leaving her for 16 hours at a time. I hated it and was willing to do anything to be home. Are there days that I wish I could go to work instead, you betcha. Sometimes the whining and crying are more than I can take. But I wouldn't trade it for the world. You need to do what is right for you. Yes, the extra money is nice but if you are miserable and miss your kids that much, is it really worth it?? We can still do lunch whenever. It's not the best weather but eh, who cares!!

And as for my massages, when I first started dating Chris, it was raining one day and the kitchen windows were open. When I ran in to close them, I slipped on the wet floor. I hit my rib on a chair, bruised my foot, and basically gave myself whip lash. I dealt with it for about a year when I couldn't take it anymore. I started going to the chiro who fixed the alignment but also suggested massage therapy to retrain my muscles. Ever since then, HOOKED!! I love them. And I don't get the swedish kind. I get the way deep tissue where is kind of hurts but you feel great the next day because all of the knots were worked out. It is also one of the two things I told Chris that I needed to keep doing even if I'm not working ~ one is getting my hair cut and professionally highlighted and two is my massages.

Kari - aww, poor kid. I hope everyone in your house gets better before the holidays. And your tickers look great Very Happy

Hi to EOE. I am home, it's raining, I think it's going to snow or become freezing rain, and I'm trying to put up my tree. Alexa was watching me and she kept going "oooohhhh". And as I was putting it together, she was decorating it ~ trees DO look pretty with baby dolls and stuffed doggies on them. It's going to be interesting, to say the least!

I'll BBL to check in on you girls. Muah.

by **kariweber** Sun Dec 13, 2009 12:21 pm

Tara- I have lost my cool before. It is hard to admit, especially when it is so AGAINST what I believe, and how I feel. But like was said before, we are human. We make mistakes, and we feel HORRIBLE about them. I have slapped Zachary on the mouth, about a year or two ago. I had had a miserable day, I was tired, and stressed, and when I picked him up from the babysitter, I got nothing but sass and attitude. While trying to put him in his carseat, he kept screaming and spitting at me (which is unlike him anyway) and I was trying to do the right thing, say no, etc. Finally, I just lost my cool, and I slapped him on the cheek. Of course it was effective--- effective in making him cry immediatly, and NOT see the connection to his own behavior. He even said, "you hit me! No hitting mommy!" I felt horrible. I should have just closed the car door and taken a moment to myself, or even spit back! But not hit. Unfortunately, it was a lesson I had to learn about my own tolerances. We do occassionally spank but only for serious transgressions, and we are always trying time outs, etc. first. I would approach your mom like Shell suggested, but instead I would come at her with, "Mom you need to stop beating yourself up, it was unexpected, but I know you love Kamden." Maybe by acknowledging her guilt and feelings, she will be more able and willing to take a look at her behavior, as opposed to getting defensive. Hope that helps... I wouldn't worry too much about leaving him alone with her, unless there are other incidents from previously. One time is normal... but a cycle of hitting and apologizing for loosing it over and over again is a problem.

Shell- You are NOT a bad mom. You are ENTITLED to your feelings. EVERY mom feels like they would rather snuggle with their kids then go to work. BUT, you are not a bad mom for working so hard. Look at all the things you and your husband have been able to provide for your children by being diligent workers! Your kids are beautiful, and you adore them. I wish I could be a SAHM, but I can't. There isn't a chance on God's green Earth it would ever work out. So I have to feel good about sending my children somewhere where I know they are loved, and nurtured, and taken care of, while I can't be there. Do I miss seeing every milestone? Of course. But, I know that in the long run, I would rather miss a little smile, or funny story than constantly be stressed out about money, or where we are going to get money for Christmas presents, or even selfishly, not be able to do the nice things I ENJOY, like get a haircut, or the occasional massage! Sometimes, even with Chris and I both working, we still struggle with these things, and I can't imagine how the constant budgeting, or constant having to cut back, may affect my enjoyment of the time I would spend with my kids. Does that make sense? Is a change of employment maybe the solution, or an altering of your hours or days? Maybe. Could it be that you just need a vacation? Or perhaps a day or two of quality time with your kids without ten gazillion other things to do? Perhaps. But whatever you decide, don't regret your situation. You don't want to waste any of your precious energy on regret. Instead, look forward to all the times you DO have, and how much your children love you. I know you didn't have a good relationship with your own mother, and it could be that you are over worried that by not spending every moment with your children, you may end up with that same relationship with them. I have never met your mother, but I can't imagine how YOU could ever end up with a relationship like that with your kids, you care too much. Think on it. Relax on it. You will be fine. Very Happy

AFM: It was a much better night last night. Thank God! I have to go to Target today to get dog food, etc. so hopefully the kids continue to do well!

Off to get some breakfast!
Kari

by **Mattiegrl** Sun Dec 13, 2009 2:28 pm

Kari- I hope you guys feel better! I just got over that same sort of thing, it lasted for about a total of 2 weeks. I hope it goes away sooner for you two Smile

Denise- mmm.... a massages. Ive been in so much pain with my lower back cause of being pregnant (i didnt feel like this until i was much bigger with Mckenna). So dh said I could get an early christmas gift and go to a nice spa and get an 1hr massage!! I was so excited only to find out they wont allow me to get one until Im 4-5mo preggo! Have you heard of this? Anyway Im a lil bummed, I guess Ill just have to deal with the pain for a lil while more.

Tara- Im not sure what I would do. Ive lost it with Mckenna before, but at the same time it was me that lost it and I know that it wont happen again. I agree with what everyone else has said. I hope things get better.

Shell- Every mom and family is different. Ive decided to stay home with Mckenna and love it. We've had to cut back a lot too. We dont eat out much at all, we cash Dhs check and make our budget for that month so we dont spend more than we have. Things are tight but I love my life and have learned that I dont really miss the things we have cut out. Plus we are really good with our money now Smile

Maybe you could do a part time thing at a different job if you need the money? Whatever you decide will be great for your family. Yours lil ones will love and will adore you either way! You are a great mom!!

Afm: 13 weeks baby! Man this is going by fast! Do any of you other preggers feel that way?

by **shell516** Mon Dec 14, 2009 12:45 am

Hi lovies.

Tara - Ok, that explains a lot. I think that was definitely one of those "lose your cool" moments. Have you talked to her yet? It sounds as though that's completely not in her character so I'd probably chat with her then forgive and forget.

Kari - I'm so glad that you had a better night! Having sick kids is not fun on more than one level! You feel so bad for them because they're sick, you lose sleep caring for them, you get grouchy and tired from being sleep deprived and the cycle continues!

Denise - Ahhh, I see. I don't think you ever told us (at least that I remember) the whole story behind your back / neck issues. Now I understand. So basically, I need to wipe up the kitchen floor, then run in to grab something, pretend to fall and I'm guaranteed massages for life, huh? Hmmm.... JUST KIDDING! I've always felt horrible for people with neck and back issues. That's one thing I never want to deal with.

Mattie - I agree, the second time around things go SO much quicker! I felt like I blinked and I was 20 weeks. It sort of works to your advantage though. Since it's your second time around and you know what to expect (sort of - all pregnancies are different) and you have another little one to keep you busy, you don't have time to worry about how many weeks you are, etc.

***WARNING - THIS IS A BOOK. FEEL FREE TO SKIP***

AFM, thank you so much to all of you for your kind words. I don't know if I've ever elaborated on my work situation but here it goes. I work for a third generation, 65 year old jewish family business in the interior design field. It's my boss, the son, who is the President and his mother who works on the retail side but is less involved in the business side. I run / manage the office, do all of the bookkeeping, do sales, I assist my boss and anything else in between. My coworkers are more than double my age, are clueless and do not pull their weight. So needless to say, it can get a little stressful around there. However, there are many advantages. First of all, I work about 25 hours a week (MWF 9am-4:30pm and Saturday 10am - 2pm) yet I get paid for 40 hours and quite nicely at that. My boss pays for my gas which in my SUV is running around $50 a week. My boss is overly understanding when it comes to my kids. His feeling is that my work comes second, kids come first. If one of the kids is sick, he TELLS me not to come in. When the weather is icky, he TELLS me not to come in. Basically, when you weigh the good with the bad, I have it really good at work. AND THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT EVEN HARDER.

I talked to DH about it briefly last night and he agreed that obviously, the ideal situation would be for me to be at home. However, the ideal comes with a hefty price tag in more ways that one. We don't live a lavish life or live in a mansion by any means but we do just fine. But, I'm a HUGE worrier. I worry about money NOW and there's absolutely no reason to. If I were to stay at home, we'd have to cut back in a BIG way. DH thinks that would impact me for the worst emotionally and mentally and therefore limit my enjoyment in staying home. He's right. So, my plan is to see how much I can cut out of our budget over the next six months and then re-evaluate the situation. For right now, I'm going to enjoy the three days a week that I do have home with my kids and be thankful that I HAVE a job and a good one too. I truly cannot tell you girls how much I appreciate hearing your opinions and thoughts. Being a Mom is the hardest job and yet the most rewarding. It makes such a huge difference when you have other Moms to talk to. I love you ladies so very much!

XOXOXO

by **Mattiegrl** Mon Dec 14, 2009 3:00 pm

Shell- It sounds like you guys are making great decisions for your family. Its hard being a mom and having a family, but you are doing a great job at it! Keep it up Smile

by southernbelle Mon Dec 14, 2009 6:57 pm

Hey hey girls!

Shell - It is funny that you should post about this b/c I'm going through the same thing! I only work 3 days a week right now but it is a stressful 3 days! My job is not nearly as family friendly as yours sounds to be. I have a full day of patients waiting on me when I'm scheduled to work. So that means when Easton is sick it is a battle between EJ and I as to who is going to try to get off to stay with him. Pretty much if I'm scheduled to work I better have my butt there! And I'm the only one there with young children so they really have no idea! And with the new baby on the way we have decided that I'm going to have to go back full time to justify paying daycare to two kiddos! So I'm actually looking to change my career all together. I really think if I had an office job that was laid back and I actually got a lunch break were I could have lunch with girlfriends I would maybe enjoy it! I'm really stressing about working 5 days aweek though. Oh and another big problem with my job now is I have to be at work by 6:50 in the morning! EJ has to be at work at 7:00 too but he can be late and it not be a big deal. Can you imagine how crazy I would be trying to get myself and 2 kids out of the house by 6:30 in the morning!! WOW! Well, I hope you can figure out what will be best for you and your family. I would love to be a SAHM to but finacially we couldn't do it without worrying every month and I don't want that stress! If we didn't just move into a new house it could have been possible but definatley not now! Good luck chicky dee! ((((Hugs)))) I know how you feel!

by **kariweber** Mon Dec 14, 2009 10:26 pm

Shell- It sounds like your 6 month idea is a good one. Your job DOES sound incredibly flexible, and I don't know you would ever find that again! You really have the best of both worlds because you get to work some days, and have other non weekend days off. The downside of my job is that in order to ever do ANYTHING in the kids classrooms one day, parties, field trips, etc. I have to take a day off to do it. Bummer. But, you are you, and you have to do what is best for your family!
Kari

P.S. Now I have an ear infection. le Sigh.

by **Mattiegrl** Mon Dec 14, 2009 11:10 pm

Kari- I feel for you! Ear infections suck!!!! I had lots of them when I was younger. i got tubes in twice. Feel better and tell them to go away

by **denise73** Tue Dec 15, 2009 10:30 am

Kari ~ ugh. I hope you can get all of these sicknesses out of your household before the holidays. Hugs.

Shell ~ it sounds like you've got an awesome plan. And an awesome employer, even if you are doing most of the work! That was one reason for me quitting - public safety is public safety and they expect you to put the citizens first before family ~ even though they say otherwise. I'm glad you're feeling better about it and we WILL do lunch!!

Brandy ~ Are you still working for the dentist who had the triplets or did you quit? She was a monster and I hope you're somewhere else. Is it possible to find another position? I'm sure in this economy it's tough. I know the hygentists at my dentist work at different offices on different days. I guess it's contingent on the doctor's schedule. I hope you can find something that will make you happy.

Anyone seen Misty?? She needs to come and post on here!!

Hi to EOE. I'm just popping on really quick before the midget wakes up. I'll BBL.

by babyblue2007 Wed Dec 16, 2009 1:59 pm

Testing testing 1.2.3...lol

Misty

by **kariweber** Fri Dec 18, 2009 1:05 am

I am so eager for tomorrow to be over! Then I get two weeks of vacation! My ear is better, Zachary is better... Jackson is getting over the hump of a cold AND has popped in his two front teeth in the last day or two! He now has 6 teeth! I expect him to be expertly chewing on filet mignon by the new year. Geesh.

I need a laugh. We are trying to refinance. Desperate times. Have tried for two years. You don't even WANT to know what I pay for my condo right now. Not sure whether it will work or not. Anyone know some good jokes?

Kari

by **denise73** Fri Dec 18, 2009 10:51 am

Kari ~ What is the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa stopped after 3 ho's Razz

I hope it all works out for you and I'm glad everyone is feeling better!

Misty ~ yay you're here!!

How is everyone else doing? Well, Miss Alexa - I can't believe my daughter is going to be one tomorrow *cry cry cry* - is still going to have her party, just with a smaller crowd due to the foot of snow we're getting. Maybe more. But that's ok. So I am now making both cakes. I'm in the process of baking right now. I'll definitely take pics and post them. We are also going to get her one year old pictures done today. Should be interesting since she's not in the best of moods due to her molars coming in.

Other than that, not much going on here. My mom is an idiot but that's a story for another time.

I'm off to bake the 2nd cake. TTYL

by **denise73** Sat Dec 19, 2009 1:19 pm

My baby is one today *waaaahhhhhh*

I hope everyone is having a great day. We seriously have almost 18" of snow and still more to come.

I'll let you know how the party went later tonight!

by **Mattiegrl** Sat Dec 19, 2009 3:45 pm

Denise- Already?! Hope u guys have a great day with her!! Smile

by **shell516** Sat Dec 19, 2009 8:56 pm

Hi loves!

Denise - Happy FIRST Birthday Alexa! It seems like it was just yesterday that I was out doing my last minute shopping run while you were texting me with updates. Sigh... Are you loving or hating this blizzard? I'm LOVING it as long as I don't have to go out in it! We have around 18" or so maybe more. I think it's supposed to end around 3am and by then they say we'll have two feet or so. Aghhh!

Kari - A laugh? Hmm. I'll have to get back to you on that one!

AFM, we're snowed in. Seriously. Well, I guess in a true emergency we could get out but otherwise, nada.

I'll check back in later!

by **denise73** Sat Dec 19, 2009 11:01 pm

Shell ~ I'm loving it because I don't have to go anywhere. We have about 20" and it's still snowing. Very lightly but damn, it's been for a full 24 hours now. And I remember the updating. I mean, I tried to tell Chris that it was 2 am and to text people the next day but nope, he had to do it right then and there.

As for her little party, it was good. She was kinda afraid to dig into the cake but once I put her hand in it, she' was good to go. I have to go upload some pics. I'll put them on FB and some on here.

I hope everyone has a good night. TTYL.

by **kariweber** Sun Dec 20, 2009 1:33 am

Happy Birthday Alexa! WOW! I really can't believe how fast that went!

I took Zachary to his first movie today. He and I took his little friend Keira (who he is watched with) and her mommy to "The Princess and the Frog". It was super cute to watch them. It was the first movie for the both of them! They were holding hands in the movie theater and it was so cute. They did so well in the movie too, Zach sat so still, eating his popcorn from his little kiddie pack, and drinking his "lem-o-lade". What a day!

Later he says, "Mom, it is about time you got married." I said, "I am married!" he goes, "To dad? It is time you married me."
I was so touched! Now to break the news to Chris.

Jackson's two front top teeth are in, and that makes 6. He is 24 pounds. Christ.

Kari

by **denise73** Sun Dec 20, 2009 1:42 pm

Kari ~ holy big kid!! I plopped Alexa on the scale yesterday and SHE'S 24 lbs. But she wasn't as big as Jacks was when he was born. Woo hoo for teeth and I love the movie theater story. So, are you still going to allow your hubby to live with you when you tell him you're leaving him for another man or does he have to move out??

by babyblue2007 Mon Dec 21, 2009 12:31 pm

Can anyone tell me why my tickers wont show up? They show up on my signature profile page, but not here. Does it just take some time?

by **kariweber** Mon Dec 21, 2009 7:11 pm

Misty- you actually need to check the "show signature" box from the options wgen you post. I type in the window at the bottom of the page, click "preview" then check that option and the save or post.
Kari

by **kariweber** Mon Dec 21, 2009 7:14 pm

Oh Misty- I just figured it out! Go to "profile" and then the "preferences" tab. Scroll down, make sure where it says "Always attach signature" the button says "yes"!

Kari

by **kariweber** Mon Dec 21, 2009 7:16 pm

We took holiday pictures this morning with the boys in their Sock Monkey Christmas jammies. Then we went to see Santa! Busy morning! If I can figure out how to, I will post a picture later!

by KoopMomma Tue Dec 22, 2009 12:24 am

Sorry for the fly by posting...I'll do persies tomorrow. But...should I be worried that my son just walked up, pointed at my butt and laughed??....three times in a row???

by **kariweber** Tue Dec 22, 2009 1:40 am

Tara- No. Point back and laugh at him!
Kari

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