TTC a Miracle 2009

Hi everyone! I'm actually finally feeling better today. Yay! On Saturday I had a canning party. I got sent a giant box of canning supplies from House Party (www.houseparty.com) and got to show some friends how to make and can salsa and strawberry jam. It was a lot of fun! On Sunday I took Jalen to the park and he loved it. After about 45 minutes, he said, "all done" and started walking back to the car. LOL! It was close to lunch/naptime and I guess he had enough!

Adrienne- glad you are feeling better! My parents went tomato picking the past 2 weekends. My mom has been canning like crazy! That is really cute that Jalen said all done!!! THat is better than having to drag him to the car when you are ready to go!!

Becky- Yeah...I thought I'd have to drag a kicking and screaming toddler to the car. I'm sure that will happen next time! This was the first time I ever canned, and I really like it! The salsa was a bit time consuming to chop up everything, but the jam was soooooo simple! I haven't even planted my tomatoes yet! Ours aren't really ripe until Aug./Sept. It's almost strawberry picking time here, so I can't wait for that!

Adrienne- the tomatoes were only $1 a grocery bag. My parents got 8 bags first week and 11 the second. I made a jar of salsa and might make another and freeze it. We took the boys to the park on sunday. We didnt stay too long b/c it was so humid out. They didnt put up a fight when it was time to go either. THough they would have stayed longer

Adrienne-I’m glad you’re feeling better and that you had fun at the park and canning!

Becky-Where do you live in FL? Are you on the Gulf side? It’s so amazingly sad what’s happening down there.

Nothing too interesting happening around here. I’m pooped from the “Mondays”!

Kate- Yes I am on the gulf. It hasnt made its way here but it could by the end of summer. It is really scary. We are staying at the beach in sept. Who knows how the beach will be by then.

Becky-Aw I’m sorry you’re on that side…and that your beach trip might be a bust!

Ben just cried like crazy when I told him he couldn’t put the edge of the area rug in his mouth…hahah bad mommy!

Kate- it all depends on what happens with the leak and the currents. I really hope it doenst hit our beaches. Our vacation will be the least of the problems. My BIL is a charter fisherman. BUt without tourism things will not be good. You are such a bad mommy, why cant he chew on the rug!!! LOL

Last night Leo was sitting with me watching tv. He would kiss both my arms and then kiss his arms. Then he would kiss my legs and then his! Silly boy!

Aw, Kate ~ fiber is fiber - lol. Isn't it funny what they cry over? Alexa cried because I told her not to pull on the lever on the recliner.

Becky ~ I couldn't imagine having that oil there. I just get angrier everytime I see it on tv.

Hi to EOE. I've been reading, not posting. I'm starting to feel better (even tho I got sick this am) so hopefully I'll be back here soon!

Jeannette ~ I'm thinking about you. I hope Baby Smith is able to hold out a few more days!

Denise-Glad you are starting to feel better!

Kate-Nick cries when I take ANYTHING away from him he is not supposed to have...I think the terrible two's are starting a little early for us!

Jeannette-Thinking of you and hoping that baby is still cooking!

Becky-aren't they just so cute sometimes? Nick will come up to me and say Mommy and then just give me a kiss and walk away, its so cute.

AFM-Just got home from the zoo and from getting the little man a haircut. Luckily we were almost done at the zoo when the rain started!

So I wanted to fill you guys in on what I am going through. I will try not to go on and on...

I haven't talked to my father in 15 years. When I was 14 I found out he was cheating on my mom. I kept is quiet because I didn't want to hurt her and I didn't tell him I knew. About 6 months later he went to run some errands and just didn't come back. It was really hard and basically destroyed my mom. He never really reached out to my brother and I, never fought for visitation for anything like that. I was so angry I completely shut him out of my life. My brother always maintained some kind of contact with him all these years, but lately since my brothers drug issue they have become a lot closer.

He is remarried to the woman he left my mom for and they have a daughter who is 8 that they adopted from China. Recently he has told my brother how much he misses me and how he just wants to be apart of my life and know Nick. I have been thinking about it, but kind of pushed it out of my mind. The other day I was leaving work and the new head of security who was a cop with my dad and I knew when I was younger stopped me to talk. He told me he wasn't forcing me and completely understood where I was coming from when it came to not talking to my dad, he had almost the same situation growing up. He didn't talk to his dad for about the same amount of time and they had a fight one day and 6 hours later he died of a heart attack. He didn't want me to miss out on knowing my dad. He said my dad asked him to talk to me and in 22 years he had never seen my father cry. My dad admitted that he hasn't been there and that he was horrible to my mom, but wanted another chance with me.

I have been thinking about it a lot the last few months and I talked to my mom about it the other day. She said we have all moved on and she thinks that I should talk to him. So I called my brother and we set something up for this sunday at my brothers house. I am having a little anxiety over it, its been so long I don't even know him. I also haven't seen ANYONE from that side of the family except my dads sister who I have always stayed in touch with. Its like starting all over.

I didn't know if anyone had any advice and if you guys thought I was doing to right thing. I am just so nervous!

Thanks for listening

Becky C.

Becky C- I think it's a great idea to get together with your father. What is your gut telling you? I think that people can change. It may have taken a REALLY long time for him to realize the huge mistake he made, but he could very well be sincere. Don't get me wrong....I'm not saying you should jump into the traditional father/daughter relationship, but why not start off slowly? Start to get to know each other again, and see what happens? If it turns out he really grew up and into a great man, then good! If he's a scumbag, then you don't have to see him any more. What does Chris think about this? I hope he's supporting you! I think having anxiety over the whole situation is normal. It's scary not knowing how it's going to go. I wish you all the luck that it turns out just how you want it to!

And, he is just a human. We all expect our parent's to be perfect, but now that we're parents, I think it's easier to realize that parents make mistakes too (I'm not trying to down-play this situation...he made a HUGE mistake in not keeping up a relationship with you, and the horrible way he treated your mother). As a mom, I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm just making it up as I go along. I just hope I don't make any major mistakes as I go!

Adrienne-Thanks for the advice, my gut is telling me to reconnect with him and see what happens. DH is all for it, he has met him once when he went to help my brother move and liked him. I think DH and Nick are going to come with me, I think this way we won't just sit there and relive the past...I kinda just want to move on and not bring up all the old stuff. I mean, don't get me wrong, I know some stuff will need to be talked about, but I want it to be more about getting to know each other. I am so nauseous I don't know if I am going to be able to eat until then, maybe I will lose a couple more pounds, lol.

Becky- I know it is going to be very hard but I think it is good that you are getting together. I think it is good for him to meet his grandson. Good luck and HUGS!

Nothing new with me. I got a coupon for a free wall collage at Sears Portrait. I think we will go get family picture done and then one of DH and boys for fathers day. THe last family picture we took was over a year ago for church directory and it didnt come out very well.

Hello Girls - Sorry it has been so long but I have been so busy and I having issues with internet access at home, then we were on vacation on Cape Cod this past week and did not have internet access at the resort so I could not post there either. I miss my girls!


Becky - I can not believe Brennan is going to start school in August.

Kate - Cloth diapering, good for you. I could not imagine doing that but have such respect for people who do. I hope your work situation gets better!!

Candice - I know exactly what you mean about the inlaws. Brody has very red highlights in his hair, in fact his hair may end up being red. Well I have very red highlights in my hair and my mother has red hair but DH's parents keep mentioning that they can not believe Brody has red hair since no one in their family has had red hair in a while. They can not believe that he would get genes from that far back. UMMMM.... Maybe that is because he is not getting it from your side of hte family. LOL

Gigi - I did say something to her and she blew it off like nothing happened. Luckily Dh is very supportive. We discussed it during one of our counseling sessions and the therapist (who is male) told my DH that it sounds like his mother is very selfish and is trying to make DH choose between me and her. He then told DH that he MUST choose me every time. He has to live with me and has made vows to me and though he loves his mother he owes her nothing but love while he owes me partnership and love. DH agreed and I swear it is like his eyes have opened. He has started to see the things his mother does were he did not see them or thought I was over reacting before. Wow, going to Iraq is a huge decision. Praying everything works out for your brother. Some of those people come back changed themselves because of what they see over there. Praying your brother can do what he needs to do and is only changed in a good way by the experience.

Maureen - We understand. DH and I go to Wal-Mart sometimes just to people watch. We haved 2 of them near us one is 5 miles away and the other is 6 miles away in the other direction. The one that is 5 miles away is crazy. I swear it is like stepping back into the 80's but a very low class version. The one that is 6 miles away is clean with normal people shopping in it and normal stuff to buy. I am not sure why they are so different. LOL

Tasha - What a cutie!!

Jeannette - I am praying for you. You are going through a lot.

Ash - CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! What a beautiful baby!

Becky C. - GOOD LUCK!!! I know exactly what you are going through. I will not bore you with my whole story but my father left my life when I was a year old. I saw him again when I was like 6 or 7 and then did not hear from him again until I was 29. I still have not seen him in person as he lives in AZ and I live in MA but I did speak to him on the phone and it was so wierd. My stomach was in knots the whole time. I think you are doing the right thing. Meeting him now does not mean he is right back in your life if you do not want him to be. Take it slow and let him in at the pace you want. I am sure he will be fine with that. Plus, just remember I am sure he is just a nervouse as you. Especially given he is the one who did something wrong, I am sure he is very sorry for the way things turned out. Praying that you can enjoy getting to know him again.

AFM: My company has unofficially announced that they are going to be closing the campus I work in by 2012 or 13 which means we will have to move to a new campus. My manager said he is pushing for us to move to the Smithfield RI campus. I think I might take a drive out there sometime in the next couple of weeks so I can see where it is and what it looks like. That campus would be awesome for me since it would be about the same drive I have now to work. If they make us move to Merrimack NH then I would have a horrible commuite (1hr 30min with no traffic) and would need to find another job.

Stacey- I cant believe it either. THey grow up so fast. He will only be going 3 hrs this year to school. Luckily my parents will be picking him up. I hope that is/when your job moves you get the close campus.

I am a little worried about my job. I know I am stress early but it is hard not to. My boss builds and manages govt buildings. Our office is in one of them. There are 2 govt agencies in our office and 1 is moving out. Once they move I am afraid I will not be needed anymore. I think it'll be about a year before that happens. I havent talked to my boss yet but it is a little scary. I have no idea what else I will do. I have been here for 10 yrs but I have no proper "reception" training. I consider myself a office manager/assistant. Before here I was a nanny. It is also hard b/c I have great hrs. 7:30am -3:30pm. It is really nice to be home afternoon/evening with the boys. I would have to work until 5-6. I would miss so much time with them

Becky ~ try not to worry. And don't worry about the formal training. Many places would rather have someone who's been doing the job for many years and knows what they're doing as opposed to some newbie out of school.

Stacey ~ glad DH is seeing things with his own eyes now!

Anyone heard about Jeannette yet? That girl is killing me. Baby Smith HAS to be here by now.

Hi to EOE. I had my monthly check up today. Baby 2 is doing well, although compared to Alexa, this one is lazy - lol. And the legs looked SO freakin' long in there. And I found out that my doctor WILL do a tubal right after delivery, vaginal or otherwise. So, I think Chris might have just gotten a reprieve for his nuts - lol.

Denise- she had the baby at 5 yesterday but that is all that was posted. No idea if boy or girl. Glad baby #2 is doing well! Maybe this is a sign this will be a calmer child! Yeah right!!

Stacey-Clothing is actually so freaking easy! I never imagined it was so easy. When you come to Smithfield we should get together! Have a little play date at my house….let me know!

Becky-Try not to stress too much…… people will like your experience if you have to look for another job. Maybe you should talk to your boss to ease your mind….

Denise-LMAO that Chris gets a reprieve for his nuts! I’m glad the baby is doing well!

Jeanette-Congratualations!!!!!!

Just hanging out.....DH and I each on our own computers. Real romantic! LOL I might see if he wants to get a movie off PPV or something....

Hi girls!
Jillian Danielle was born at 5pm on 6/10/10 weighing 5lbs, 15oz. and 18.75" long. She's petite and precious. Spent last night in the NICU while her sugars were coming up and she had some grunting with breathing but it has resolved and she's rooming in with me now. She's nursing well and only has lost 4oz. so far so I'm hoping she's doing well. We are all in love with her.
Turns out I was in labor yesterday! Contractions started at 7:45am when I got up and kept coming all day. I had my dr's appt. and they sent me over to the hospital for more monitoring. Gave me a brethine shot to see if the contractions would stop and they didn't. Took 3 tries to get an IV in too. Finally got one of the dr's to get it in. Decided that 6/10 was birthday around 4pm or so and then it was a flurry of activity. I freaked out at the last minute which was so embarrassing. I had to be awake for all of the prep and then they had to get me to sleep quickly so that Jillian wouldn't be exposed to the anesthesia as much. That's when I got totally scared and started screaming and swinging my arms at the dr's. The surgery went perfectly as far as we can tell and no bleeding issues. I'm in a good amount of pain but hanging in there. I had a PCA pump for the first night and I was completely over-medicated. We went to the NICU to spend time with Jillian b/c I barely saw her. She did need a few feedings of formula to regulate her sugars but hoping to nurse from here on out. I have pics up on Facebook and will take more tomorrow. Need to get some of all 3 kids together! Thanks for all of the support during this pg! It means a lot to me.

Congrats, Jeannette!

Hi to EOE!

Hey Ladies! I had to start a new account on here b/c it wouldn't let me in on my old one (or else I forgot what my password was). LOL

Becky C--I agree that it is probably a good idea to meet with your father. But I think you should be able to decide if you want his current wife & daughter to be there too. I'm not sure if that was discussed at all, but if it was me...I would want to talk to him first to feel it out before meeting the rest of hus current family. I wish tons of luck and hope that it goes well. Your relationship will never be what it was before this all happened, but perhaps you can develop a friendship.

Jeanette--Congrats on Jillian! I am glad she is doing so well. And it sounds like your recovery is going well...although painful. Keep us updated when you have time!

Stacey--I'm hoping you will be moving to the location closer to you. But at least you have some time before the transition occurs so you will be able to look at your options as well.

Becky--I'm not sure what kind of relationship you have with your boss, but if it's pretty open...I agree that it wouldn't be a bad idea to let him know you are concerned about his plans for you once the other agency leaves. The store of Leo kissing you is too cute for words!

Denise--Glad you are feeling better! How are you dealing with this heat & humidity? Thank goodness for AC...but when I leave the hospital it about takes my breath away!

Clare--How are you feeling? No more fainting spells I hope! When is your next appointment?

Candice--How are you and Carson doing? How much time are you going to be able to take off with him?

Hi to everyone I missed!

AFM: I'm still just plugging away out here. I haven't made any progress in cleaning out any more boxes for the last month. When I get home from work, the last thing I want to do is unpack. Then on my days off, DH wants me to run errands with him for school (he starts on Monday). It's not like he's a grown man or anything and can run them by himself...he wants me there for everything. Silly boy! I suppose it's good that he still likes my company.

I am taking my ECG class right now. It's a 5 day class. I'm doing ok so far, but I have another quiz on Monday and a final on Tuesday. I have to pass with at least an 85% or I have to retest in 4 weeks. There is just so much to remember. I feel like I am back in nursing school all over again.

DH is getting nervous about school starting. We had a scare on Thursday b/c he got a letter from the program stating he had to bring a personal check for $29,000 for his year's tuition on Monday. Usually when you get student loans, the company sends it to the school and the school cuts you a check for anything that is leftover. Well since his program is primarily run through the hospital and is only affiliated with the University...the University has to mail the check to the student who then deposits it and rights a check to the hospital. Crazy right?!? Well when we got the letter on Thursday, we didn't know about this and no check had arrived at our place. Fortunately it arrived in the mail on Friday so we hurriedly got it to the bank. So Monday morning DH gets to write the biggest check of his life! Yikes!

I will be starting night shift on June 24th. It's a little daunting...I hope I will be able to sleep ok during the day. I bought some black out curtains for the bedrooom, but DH didn't set the screws for the curtain rods out far enough from the window frame, so a bit of light still shines around the curtains. DH is embarrased to ask his dad for the drill again, so I may have to go white trash and use thumbtacks to hold the curtains down so it's nice & dark for me. Haha!

Well I better go get some breakfast. I need to take DH school clothes shopping today. He's feeling self-conscious about his little belly & wants some new shirts for school. LOL
Maureen

Jeannette- Congrats! I'll have to pop over to FB to check out pics of Jillian! I'm so glad everything turned out ok!

Maureen- wow! That sure is a huge check! GL going on night shift (I don't think I could ever do that!).

Becky- I'd try not to worry too much about your job. Even if you asked your boss about the future of your position, I'm sure he's probably lie to you (so you wouldn't quit).

Becky C- I can't wait to hear how your meeting with your father goes!

AFM- DH has his alumni baseball game in a few hours. Once a year guys who played baseball at his HS get together for a game. This year, my nephew is playing with him (since he graduated last year). So, I'm really looking forward to watching both of them! My DH has a really good baseball player (as was my nephew). But, my DH was disappointed he wasn't drafted after HS, so he never kept playing. Then after the game we're going to my brother's house for his birthday (shoot...I forgot to get him a card!). Tomorrow I may go strawberry picking, but I have a bunch of stuff to do in the yard, so I might not. We're having a bunch of people over to our house next weekend for Father's Day, and for my cousin's HS graduation.

Jeannette- congratS!!!!! I am going on facebook after this to look at pics!!

I have a great relationship with me boss. I was there nanny for a few years after highschool. Then the kids were in school so I moved to a new family. About 3 yrs after that my boss called to offer me a job in his offce. I asked him how long it would be until they moved out. He said about year and half. I didnt ask about my job yet. He probably doesnt even know at this point.

I have a funny Leo story. Yesterday he wanted to go on the potty. He likes to stand but doesnt get close enough to hte potty so I push his butt to get him closer. He told me to "back off mommy"! I am in trouble with him!!

Jeannette-So happy everything is well! I can't believe how big she was being so early! I am glad she is in the room with you now and I hope she gives you some time to rest.

Becky-I hope everything works out with your job!

Adrienne-Have fun at the game!

Maureen-I hope you can sleep during the day and thank god DH's check came in, I would have freaked out! I know that it is just my father going today. I will meet his wife and family when I am ready. I guess I just have to see what happens today and then just take it from there.

AFM-So I thought I had anxiety before today, lol. I have been in and out of the bathroom all morning, my belly is more nervous then the rest of me, lol. Well let me go, Nick is running around with his pants around his ankles...he is anti-clothes these days. I will let you all know how I make out!

Becky C.

Maureen - Good luck with starting the late shift! Hopefully you really like your new job. That is crazy that your husband got a letter saying he needed all of that money right away! Glad to hear that it got figured out though.

Denise - Glad to hear that you had a good doctor's appointment! My next one is a week from Friday!

AFM - I'm doing well! My husband has noticed lately how much I'm growing - it's cute! I can't wait to feel my babies move! Symptom-wise, I've been battling some headaches. I get them just about everyday, however somedays are worse than others. I called my doctor and it's normal to have them - a very common side effect of pregnancy (my book says this too). I just have to take Tylenol when I get them which seems to help, although I feel bad taking anything. I went to see my General Practitioner last week too to rule out a sinus infection and he told me to start my Zyrtec which I hadn't been taking (naughty patient). I've had all kind of reassurance that all of this is safe, so I feel a little better about it, I guess.

Hope everyone is doing well!